Monday, January 10, 2011

During My Weeks Of Silence

All the things I wanted to say about being pregnant but couldn't during my weeks of silence.

(November 21, 2010)
It is still November and I'm not posting this today because we aren't going to make "the announcement" until after my January doctor's appointment. My pregnancy was confirmed today and we are, of course, SO HAPPY!! In reality, I'm still in shock. Still in disbelief. Still nauseas. Still kinda freaking out.

As soon as I got back from the doctor's office, Kyle took me out to dinner and then we scoured Target for "What to Expect When You're Expecting." The doctor recommended it, and believe me, Kyle takes the doctor's recommendations very, very seriously.

For further example: the doctor told me to drink at least four glasses of milk a day. FOUR! I don't even drink one as it is and I only really drink milk when I'm eating chocolate so this is new for me. Anyway, when we got home, Kyle poured me a huge glass of milk and said "finish this and drink one more before you go to bed!" Uh, unless he is going to supply me with endless amounts of chocolate, there is no way. I'm just not a milk drinker.

(November 22, 2010)
I went to the pharmacy for some hard core prenatal vitamins and saw other (more visibly) pregnant women everywhere! I wanted to run up to them with a big high five! A belly bump! A "you go girl!" Okay, maybe not.... that was never really cool to say, was it? At any rate, I'm finally "in." You know, part of the secret society of women with fetuses. The exclusive club I have wanted for so long to be a part of. I'm in! High five me!

(November 24, 2010)
It is so hard to keep this pregnancy a secret. Every time I talk to someone on the phone, whether it's family or work related, I want to answer "Hi this is Kourtney and I'm pregnant, how can I help you?" I've literally had to stop myself from saying something similar on more than a few occasions.

Right now I'm only 6 weeks along, which is not very much when compared to the 34 to go (15% finished!) but I have already managed to use the "pregnancy card" to my advantage.

Exhibit A: Due to fumes I was absolved from cleaning the showers.

Exhibit B: I was excused from the heavy lifting involved in our recent moving around of things.

Exhibit C: I can totally justify eating four Oreo truffles at a time(you know, so I can drink the milk after)

(December 3, 2010)
Someone please explain to my husband that hormones are real and beastly and sometimes take over my body and make me cry/scream/laugh hysterically at all the most inappropriate times. And at the most ridiculous things.

A car alarm went off 22 times in 2 hours today and I about had a nervous breakdown.

I just went from sweating like a pig to being freezing cold in a matter of minutes.

I nearly had a panic attack because I couldn't decide which 11" x 14" print to order and then after I placed the order I changed my mind and I couldn't go back and then well, the damage was done.

I slept 9.5 hours last night, 38 minutes on the bus this morning, and 24 minutes at lunch. And I'm still so tired.

I am hot. I am cold. I am yes. I am no. I am in. I am out. I am up. I am down.

I am an indecisive emotional roller coaster with a hyper-sensitive thermostat. Welcome, Little Fetus, and thank you for already driving me crazy! (But really, I'm so excited about you).

(December 7, 2010)
Today I am 8 weeks pregnant and I want to barf. If I didn't have such a phobia of barfing, I would probably just barf a few times and feel better. But, no. I hold it in. I moan and ache and writhe in bed for hours. I make Kyle fix me nachos for dinner because, of course, the only thing I want to eat is Mexican food. (Mexican food?) This is somewhat comforting unto me because I know that I am pregnant because who in their right mind simultaneously wants to barf and enjoy greasy Mexican food? Seriously. Burritos. Nachos. Quesadillas. I want it all. Also, there is the cranberry juice. I don't know what it is, but all I want to drink is cranberry juice. I stated my case for a solid week before Kyle surprised me with my very own jug. The jug that didn't last 24 hours in our fridge...

And there was that time just last weekend when I downed an entire container of clam dip. With chips. Ironically enough, I have no desire to even come near clam dip right now.

Ready for more food strangeness? My lunch of choice yesterday was cottage cheese topped with pickled beets, hard boiled eggs, cherry tomatoes and mandarin oranges.

(January 3, 2011)
So far I have cried stupidly about:

1. Taking down the Christmas tree
2. Kyle trying on a suit
3. Forgetting to buy milk
4. Taylor Swift appearing on Rachel Ray
5. Feeling fat
6. Going to bed
7. Live to Dance
8. The Constitution
9. The Saint Jude commercial with Jennifer Aniston
10. Just because

All this crying is, I suspect, just a way to prepare for all the crying that babies do. Wait, does that make me a baby? I guess maybe I had it coming.


Alainna Beus said...

I LOVED reading this. So funny. Isn't pregnancy the strangest most awesome thing?? What a cute idea to blog and save your thoughts during the "silent" period! When are you due? July what? I think we must be due pretty close together. I'm July 7th.

Kristi said...

you crack me up. But for some strange reason, all of this pregnancy talk is not deterring me from wanting to be back in the club. It's fun even though it's awful.

Kellie said...

So cute & funny! Reading this brought back memories of pregnancy #1. There is nothing quite as exciting as anticipating and dreaming of what it will be like. Enjoy every second, even though it can be so hard. I don't know what it is- but I craved mexican food through both pregnancies and had taco bell a few times a week during the first trimester because it was all I could stomach. This is so exciting!!

Elissa Cox, Realtor said...

I absolutely loved reading this! I can relate to the Mexican food thing. When we go to dinner, remind me to tell you my funny story about that.