i may never

once upon a time i took kellen to be circumcised.

i had to go by myself.  with avery.  i was so nervous.

i opted to stay in the room during the procedure but i didn't want to watch.  i braced myself for the emotional trauma of hearing my sweet baby screaming.

but you know what?  he didn't make a peep!  he didn't cry or whimper once.  it was amazing.  what's even more amazing is avery sat quietly on my lap and looked at pictures on my phone the whole time.  i was so proud of my two perfectly behaved babies.  leaving the office, i called kyle to brag about how awesome our kids are.  i was so confident in their ability to be perfect that afternoon that i stopped at the store on my way home.

i got two perfectly behaved babies in the grocery cart and all hell broke loose.

kellen started screaming bloody murder and would not be consoled in the car seat so i took him out and held him with one arm while pushing the cart with my free hand while avery sat strapped in the cart seat.  i would have just given up but there was one thing i really needed (and couldn't find) so i found a chair by the bathrooms and sat down to nurse kellen back to quiet sanity.  kellen stopped screaming but then avery decided to wiggle herself free of the safety belt and stand precariously on the cart seat, threatening to jump.  i talked her out of jumping but instead she leaned over the cart and pulled off a rack of pill dispensers.  i think i might have flashed a few people.

i somehow managed to get kellen consoled and avery strapped back in the cart seat.  i even managed to find what i needed.  sanity restored, i felt brazen enough to wander around a few extra aisles, kellen still in my arms and avery playing with my phone.  thank heaven for iphones and toddler apps.  really, i should have left during the calm of the storm because soon avery chucked my phone on the floor, wiggled out of the safety belt and literally jumped on top of me and kellen.  

holding two really unhappy babies and pushing the cart with a free finger, i made sure to grab myself two bags of m&ms and a diet soda before stumbling through the checkout.  

i may never leave the house with two kids again.