Saturday, February 5, 2011

Prenatal Prophesies.... or not.

Just before leaving my very first baby-related doctor's appointment, my favorite nurse ever prophesied: "Your hair will get thick and shiny and your boobs will get huge!!"

I mean, is this not the token of good fortune every fine-haired-flat-chested woman wishes to hear?

It's the stuff that makes morning sickness and daily prenatal vitamins and 4 glasses of milk a day worthwhile.  Sure pregnancy already presented some new challenges, but just think, my hair will get thick and shiny and my boobs will get huge!!!

Uh, no. I'm not seein' it.

For starters, huge boobs for a flat-chested woman is all relative.  Huge for me... but huge?  Not so huge.  And that's about all I've got to say about that.

Furthermore, instead of turning thick and shiny, I think my hair may actually be falling out.  I should have known this was going to happen as for the last few months I've been having a recurring nightmare of my hair falling out in clumps (Which, in fact, happened one time when I let Rachael bleach my hair just after high school graduation.  Fell out in clumps. Seriously.  A living nightmare) 

Over the last year and a half or so, I've grown used to Kyle's regular noting of my baby-fine hair pieces being found in his clothes, on his pillow, and stuck to his face.  Until now, I've just laughed my that's-what-you-get-for-being-married laugh and ignored his complaining.  But now... now I think he has a point.  My hair is driving even me crazy.

Here and there throughout my life I've heard of women who have shaved their heads for whatever reason, only to have it grow back completely different.  A formerly straight-haired woman suddenly grows curly locks!  A natural brunette turns natural redhead!  Baby fine hair grows in thick and luscious!  The possibilities are endless!

But, you see, I can't shave my head because my husband already does.  And, well, someone around here needs to have some hair.

As for the boobs....   well, we will just have to wait and see.


Crystal said...

As far as the boobs go, wait until after the baby is born and your milk comes in. That is when my boobs grew 2 cup sizes! Doesn't last forever, though.... ;) I'm pretty glad about that, though. Big boobs are really overrated.

Derek and Jen said...

Oh, just wait! Your milk will come in and BAM! You got boobs! Big ones! And it hurts... :)

As for the hair, mine was wonderful during pregnancy, and now that Braelyn's 4 months old, I'm losing it! LOTS! And I never had that much to begin with!

Suzi Q said...

If you decide to shave your head I have a long red head wig with bangs you could borrow.

Kellie said...

Post-natal prophecies: once the baby is born your boobs WILL be huge. But guess what- it's not hot because you are spraying milk. And your thick/shiny locks WILL fall out in clumps and be found on the floor, in your brush, in the shower, in your baby's hand.. But it's worth it! ;)

bequi said...

I got on to tell you that your hair will fall out after the baby comes... But it looks like people beat me to it. Are you taking your vitamins? That might help it stay in. (I don't know, I'm just guessing.) But seriously, my hair is falling out like a dog in the summer. I sent Kati a picture on my phone, and I think it might have made her throw up. I stick it to the wall in my shower, or else it would fully clog my drain every day.