Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A Guide

On a rainy Saturday afternoon, we wandered the aisles of Barnes & Noble.  I had to elbow my way into the Pregnancy section (is everyone around here pregnant these days?!) and was subsequently overwhelmed by the masses of information presented before me. 

A book claiming to be a "simple guide to breastfeeding" was over 300 pages thick.  300 pages, to me, is not simple.  If you want to make it simple, put it in a handout.  Make it into a cartoon.  Turn it into a picture book.  But for heaven's sake, 300 pages on nursing a baby is mighty overwhelming.  Especially when it always seemed so self-explanatory to me....  not so any longer.  Kyle offered a helpful opinion: "But this is the kind of book people probably buy when they're having problems."  And to that, I hastily threw all the books back on the shelf and stormed off in a huff. 
I don't know. 
I don't even understand myself these days.

So we later discovered the baby doctor had given us a book on all things baby-related in a care package we got at our first visit that I never really bothered to look through. 
Until now.

And the more I read about babies, the more I realize I am actually becoming one. 
Therefore, I think this book may not only be a guide about babies, but also for husbands on how to deal with pregnant wives.  Behold the following truisms of both babies and pregnant wives
(or at least this pregnant wife):

"Most [pregnant wives]... need at least two naps a day, one at mid morning and the other midday.  Some [pregnant wives] may nap a third time later in the afternoon.  In general, it's best to let your [pregnant wife] sleep as long as she wants..."

"Your [pregnant wife] may undergo a dramatic change in personality"

"While she'll quickly get bored with even the most engaging toy, she'll never tire of your attention."

"You won't necessarily find all of her personal characteristics enjoyable all the time...but in the long run, adapting to her natural personality is best for both of you."

"It's important to understand her as completely as possible."

"...Cuddling sometimes will do wonders to calm the nerves of an irritable [pregnant wife]."

"[Your pregnant wife will] eat every three to four hours on average."

I think this book is turning out to be more helpful than I thought!


Kellie said...


Derek and Jen said...

Love it!!

vickyj said...

I'm trying to guess how popular a picture book on breast feeding would be. Also, would it actually be helpful?

Liz.Bell.Mason said...

That is awesome, amazing and hilarious. I'll definitely have to get this book for my husband when I'm pregnant haha