Monday, December 17, 2012

Gas Leak

Before I ever got pregnant I heard a lot about "pregnancy symptoms."

The list went like this:
morning sickness
mood swings

At that point in my life I was naively unaware of a pregnancy symptom that has far-reaching, devastating consequences: The Pregnancy Farts.

You guys, I am taking one for the team today in sharing with you one of the most humiliating facets of my current state of life.  I share for one reason, and one reason only: I feel it is far too funny to keep to myself.

As my Kyle so often proclaims, "Farts are funny."
Of this, I believe he is right.

So here's the thing.  I have The Pregnancy Farts.  And truth be told, they are often bad.  Like, really bad.  Eye-watering bad.  I have no idea what is happening with this baby to cause such a terrible plight, but I hope he is all the more sweeter for our suffering.

You want to know how bad it is?
I will tell you.
Today I had The Pregnancy Farts.
The bad kind.
Today I had to work.
Today I might have let one slip.
(You MUST know, that The Pregnancy Farts cannot be controlled.  They have a mind of their own)
The office was crowded, but no one was standing VERY near me so I hoped I was in the clear.
Not TEN MINUTES LATER, someone from the far side of the room announces that security has received a phone call complaining of a natural gas or sulfurous odor coming from our office.  "Has anyone smelled any natural gas recently?"  An investigation ensued.  I kept quiet and the findings were inconclusive.



It Started With a Wink said...

hahaha!!!!! I would have to say that is a common symptom

Rich and Brianne said...

Seriously dying here. THANK YOU. And yes, I understand!!

Tara said...

Could not stop laughing at this! I love fart stories, they bring out the best kind of laughter.

Kellie said...

Hilarious!!! So glad you shared! Fart stories are the best!