Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Tips for Surviving Fantasy Football Drafts

I was reminded today that I haven't blogged in over a week.
A whole week!
I'm not even working right now!

But here is my legitimate excuse:  It's football season, friends and every time I decide to sit down and write a cleverly inspiring blog post, SOMEONE needs the computer for a freaking fantasy football draft.  And, I mean, these are like the most important events in the history of life so really, I'm kicked off the computer and out of the office for several hours.  

As such, I've decided to share my experience being married to a fantasy football freak and offer some advice for any others who may experience this same phenomenon every fall.  (also I'm still slightly bitter that he didn't even invite me to join this year.  whatever)

because this is how we feel about fantasy football

Tips for Surviving Fantasy Football Drafts:

  • Be sure The Husband puts all his scheduled fantasy football drafts on the calendar so you can plan to be a single mom during those hours. 
  • The draft may start at 8:00 PM but an hour of prep time is required so expect The Husband to be occupied as early as 7:00 PM (or whatever hour prior to the actual draft start time).  Also, he will start "research" days, or possibly weeks before the first draft even begins.  This makes the fantasy football season feel even longer and more laborious, but hang in there.  February is just around the corner.
  • The Husband doesn't really expect you to respond to his chatterings about who he did and did not get in his draft.  A simple smile and nod is adequate response.  It is also helpful to match his mood.  For example:  If the tone of his voice is mad, look angry at whatever he is talking about.  If his tone is happy, appear to be excited for his picks.  You don't have to actually pay attention.  This is a good time to plan your next blog post or painting project.  Or pick at your nails.
  • Reserve a quiet place away from the rest of the family for the husband to complete his draft.  He will think you are being nice to him, but really you are doing it out of pure selfish reasons.  Trust me.  You do not wish to hear his minute by minute commentary on the draft picks nor feel the need to respond to his intermittent moaning and yelling.  This is also helpful when you want to go to bed at 10:00 PM and he is not using your bedroom as a place to do the draft.  Pure selfish reasons.
  • If you feel brave enough to enter the "Draft Room" do not, under any circumstances try to talk to The Husband after the little computer jingle sounds that it is his turn to pick a player.  This is the most stressful moment for The Husband and he will not respond kindly.  Really, don't even try to talk to him at all.  Unless, of course, you are informing him that you are about to do something you know he won't want you to do.  Like, say, "Honey I'm going shopping and I will come home with $300 leather boots."  In that case, he will likely send you off with a wave of his hand and you are free to shop to your heart's content.
  • It's really just best to pretend The Husband isn't home for the duration of the draft.  Better for everyone, indeed, as he cannot be expected to act like a normal human being for those hours.
  • Speaking of hours, he may SAY it's only an hour to do the draft, but don't believe him.  Prep time, 10+ "players" picking drafts, post draft review... it's going to be awhile.  Just cancel him out for the night.  It's best not to have any expectations or you'll just be disappointed.
  • Make cookies for yourself and invite another neglected wife over to talk about how ridiculous The Husbands are.  Support is key in making it through fantasy football season.

1 comment:

Kim said...

Amen, sister! Good tips. We may need to start a support group... a support group with cookies and mug brownies...