I
watched an interview with Alexi Bullock, a BYU student who is trying
to replace the word "homemaker" with "domaign," a made up
word of her own design. The whole thing didn't sit well with me and has
been on my mind ever since.
Here are a few excerpts from the
Deseret News about it:
“She
noticed that the women in her life wanted to create successful homes but that
the stereotype of the traditional ‘homemaker’ didn’t fit with their lives.”
“The
word ‘homemaking’ is so stale and boring,’ Bullock said. ‘It’s not working with me and my
generation. It’s not that it’s not
important; it just needs to be expanded and rearranged a bit.’”
“Bullock’s
father, David Politis, said the media have portrayed the homemaker as a woman
in a dress and pearls, who spends the whole day working to keep the house clean
and perfect for
when
her husband comes home from work.
‘The
idea of the stereotypical homemaker is broken,’ Politis said. ‘Making a house into a home today is more
than just cooking and cleaning.’”
You can read the
whole article
here or watch an interview with Alexi
here. I'm irritated with the whole idea of "domaign" but also this issue brought up a whole host of frustrations that I've decided to vent out here today. I’m sure
my views are not popular, but you know what? This is my blog and you don’t have to agree
with me. You don’t even have to read it!
"OUR GENERATION"
It bothers me that she thinks she’s speaking
for our generation. I mean, what
qualifies her to try to tell the world who I am and what I want to be
called? I can tell you, I do not want to
be called a “domaigner.”
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORD "HOMEMAKER?"
Call me old fashioned, but I
don’t see anything wrong with the word “homemaker.” The thing is why do we have to redefine
everything all the time? What’s wrong
with the words we have? Anyone who is or
knows a mom should already know that being a homemaker involves more than just
cooking and cleaning. But even so,
cooking and cleaning are REALLY important!
I don’t always love cooking and cleaning, but I’m really proud when I feel
like I have cooked and cleaned my very best. And even so, it’s just a word. How is calling what we do “domaign” going to
make any difference?
THE STEREOTYPE
Okay so maybe I am
REALLY old fashioned, but I actually like the stereotypical portrayal of a
woman in a dress and pearls, the “50s housewife” if you will. Now, before you start sending me feminist
hate mail, let me explain. I’m not
stupid enough to think that I need to look amazing and have a perfect home
every day. And I will add that my
husband is not that stupid either. But
this “stereotypical homemaker,” you know the one in pearls? To me she is something to kind of strive
for.
I see her as a
woman who is happy to be a wife, happy to be a mom, and trying her best to make
her house a warm and loving place to be.
I think about my mom, who certainly wasn’t perfect (sorry mom), and I
don’t remember her ever wearing pearls, but the little things she did every day
really made our house feel like home.
Just think: Mom’s Home Cooking.
Does it get any better than that?
I don’t care who you are, but no one makes pies like my mom makes pies. But I bet you probably feel the same way
about your mom. I guess my point is
this: cooking and cleaning are really important. I know from my own childhood experiences that
those things help make a house a home.
To me, the woman in
pearls is someone I strive to be because she cares. She makes an effort, and she makes things
beautiful. I don’t see her as someone
who is oppressed by the demands of society or her husband or men in
general. I certainly don’t see her as
someone who is perfect or has a perfect home, but she is trying. The woman in pearls is a snapshot of the best
day of being a mom. Sure, it’s almost
never that pretty, pearlescent, or even clean, but there are moments of
wonderful every single day.
FEMINISTS
I feel like feminism
is taking the femininity out of being a woman.
And doesn’t that seem a little backward?
Feminism should celebrate femininity!
I wholeheartedly believe women should have the world open to them to do
whatever it is they would like in life, whether it be pursuing a career,
staying home with kids, traveling the world, furthering education, developing
talents, etc. We should be active in school, in our
workplace, at home, in politics, and have the tools available to be
successful. But I fear that feminists
will eventually kill all that is feminine in trying to make us like men.
I don’t want to be
a man. They’re great and all, but I was
born a woman and I like it that way.
There are great things about being a woman and the world would be so
very dull and very much less beautiful without us. Whether a mom or not, single or married,
women have the delicate ability to create a beautiful and loving environment, or
a home. A homemaker!
It’s not some stale, outdated word to describe a slavish woman who cooks
and cleans at the beckon call of her husband.
It’s a woman who makes her environment more lovely, more welcoming, more
at peace because of who she is and what she can do.
EVERYONE GETS OFFENDED
Why is everyone so
gosh darn offended all the time? This
goes well beyond my irritation at Alexi Bullock’s “domaign” and into the whole
idea that we have to tip toe around offending just about everyone all the
time. You can’t have a cross on the
highway because someone who is not religious is offended. You can’t call people black because that’s
racist. Or you can’t call people African
American because they’re not really from Africa. (I never really know what to say about
that?) Secretaries are now called
administrative assistants. Homemakers
now should be called domaigners? I mean
I could go on and on. It’s endless,
really. No matter what I say, I will
offend someone. Without even trying! It’s as if we’re all hell-bent on being a
victim.
You know what? We’re all different. It’s true.
Being equal and being the same are not the same thing and they never
will be. I think being equal means you
get respect for what you do and contribute and for who you are. Being the same means we all look the same, have
the same opportunities, get the same stuff, make the same amount of money, etc. The truth is there will always be someone who
is more talented, makes more money, has a bigger house, or a better job. We have to stop trying to be the same and stop
being so offended!
We should celebrate
who we are, whatever that may be. Just don’t call me
a “domaigner” because I make houses into homes and I’m proud to be a homemaker.
6 comments:
Kourtney, you're awesome. i love this. And I totally agree with you.
Amen, Kourtney. I completely agree. Very well said <3
LOVE LOVE LOVE you Kourtney! Great post! I wish that I had embraced my inner homemaker when I was younger, I think I am still embracing the femininity that was beaten out of me when I was trying to be politically correct. But I am done being politically correct. When I am describing a darker-hued person I call them black. Or brown. Whichever seems closest.
YEA - Applause, applause!!
I totally agree with your thoughts under the heading "feminists." I don't like the fact that feminism means that men can't hold a door open for a woman anymore. Because treating us with that kind of respect is disrespectful. Geez. I don't expect men to hold doors open for me all the time, but when they do that kind of thing I sure do appreciate it and graciously accept, because I want to help perpetuate respect for woman.
As for everyone getting offended, there is a great quote that was attributed to Brigham Young (who has THE best quotes ever, by the way!) in an institute manual: "He who takes offence when no offence was intended is a fool, and he who takes offence when offence was intended is usually a fool."
That was THE nicest tribute. I feel very humble. You are a great writer, Kourtney. And you are becoming a marvelous homemaker. You make me proud. However, I am now questioning the reason your dad kept bringing me pearls from Asia.
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