Thursday, January 21, 2010

A Little Self-Liberation Never Hurt Anyone, Right?

I have something to say today that is kind of personal.  Maybe even some of you can relate.  In hopes to make a change for myself, I share with you my biggest personal downfall: making comparisons.  Do you do that too?  I know there must be someone else out there who is also guilty of this downward-spiral thinking of "I'm not good enough" "if only I could be more like..." and "I wish I had..."

I'm sure it must be one of those natural female defects.  Or, maybe it's just me.  I'm very well aware that my negative comparisons aren't held in high regard with the Kyle.  He loves me just the way I am and doesn't compare me to others at all.  (And isn't that why I married him?)  So why must I do it?  Why must life turn around to be some sort of secret competition between myself and a host of friends, strangers, and celebrities who have or do or look like something that I am not? 

Are some of us simply programmed to compare ourselves to others?  Brainwashed by high-fashion magazines and daytime television?  Led to insanity by an inner need for perfection?

The fact is, there will always be someone who is more spiritual, talented, or creative than me.  There will always be someone who is better at cooking or decorating or sewing than me.  And there most certainly will always be someone out there who has a better nose, is in better shape, has skinnier jeans, or daintier feet than I do. 

God didn't make us all the same on purpose, even I know that.  Sometimes I just forget.  And then I turn myself upside down trying to be someone else's perfect. 

So here's to feeding my self-worth and starving my insecurities!  No more faulty comparisons!  No more wishing for legs a' la Megan Fox!  No more coveting the Anthropologie items in your closet!  No more giving in to self-destructing thoughts!

The truth is, I'm a five-foot five and one-half inch size 8 female with artificially blonde hair who sometimes exercises and tries most days to eat healthy.  I'm a pretty good seamstress when I want to be and I once taught myself how to play the guitar.  I have a weakness for chocolate, handbags, and trashy reality tv shows.  I pray every day and don't read scriptures often enough.  I'm certainly not perfect, and I'm done with trying to be. 

So there you have it.


Derek and Jen said...

Love it!

Jamie said...

Kourtney POWER!!! LOVE YOU!

vickyj said...

BRAVO!!!! That's my girl.
I wish I were just like her. She's so much better at writing stuff than I am. Her blog is far better than mine . . .

Abby and Jason said...

Kourtney, you are my inspiration and my life twin. You are so awesome! Never feel less than awesome. I love you!