Thursday, July 19, 2012

Dear Anonymous

I received this little gem of criticism tonight in response to yesterday's post about having babies in hospitals:

Read the book "Pushed" by Jennifer Block. I believe you are a little naive regarding the risks involved in hospital births, especially those involving pitocin, cytotec, epidurals, vacuums, etc. Didn't you schedule your induction WEEKS beforehand? Electively? Have you educated yourself about the risks of pitocin/cytotec on yourself and your child? Do you understand that the use of pitocin typically leads to epidurals, episiotomies, forceps, cesareans, etc.? Birth is not a sickness! Hospitals and drugs are for sick people. Maybe if you had let your baby decide on her own birthday, you could have had a better experience. Try getting a doula next time and letting your baby come on his/her own. Home birth is NOT completely nuts. Electively inducing a baby is COMPLETELY nuts. And before you take this the wrong way...I was induced with my first and had a miserable time. A very similar experience to your own. With my second baby I prepared with Hypnobabies and got a doula. I delivered without any interventions and had THE BEST experience ever! 

It was published anonymously.

Dear Anonymous,

First let me say I actually expected more comments like yours.  Birth sparks a lot of controversy and I'm not at all surprised by your response.

Yes, I did schedule an induction weeks beforehand but it was NOT elective.  I had gestational diabetes and there was risk of the baby getting too big but also my fluid levels were getting dangerously low.  However, I was still not induced.  I had my membranes stripped so I guess if you consider that a form of induction, then whatever.  We'd have even more to argue about.  As far as I'm concerned, I went into labor on my own.

My water broke and I had regular contractions for several hours but then they stopped.  I needed to have the baby within 24 hours of my water breaking or there would be risk of infection.  Because of THAT I was given some pitocin to help my body get back on track.  I did not have an epidural because of the pitocin.  I also did not have an episiotomy or forceps or a cesarean.

I do not condone people scheduling inductions just for any convenience, but I strongly believe that in some cases it is better for the mom and the baby's health to do so.  You are in no position to judge my situation and what was best for me and my baby.  

I seriously think it's great you had a doula and prepared with Hypnobabies.  I think doulas and midwifes and hypnobirthing are all wonderful ways to bring a baby into this world.  However, my point in yesterday's post was only to say that unless you have that baby IN a hospital (or at the very least near a hospital, like an adjoining birthing center or something), you can be at risk of experiencing life threatening issues with little to no way of handling them.  

No, birth is not a sickness.  But I do not believe hospitals are just for sick people.  Hospitals are for healing. Hospitals are for wellness.  When I had my baby I was concerned about healing properly and being well.  I was also concerned for mine and my baby's health and safety.  There is nothing that says just because you have your baby in a hospital, you must also have medications.  But I would also say to you that you cannot judge another mother for choosing to have an epidural or any medical help.  

I could go into a discussion about epidurals but I think I'll save that for later.

Suffice it to say that I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and opinions but I don't so much appreciate the judging tone of your comment.  I made my decisions regarding labor and delivery very carefully and for what I felt would be best for me and my baby. 


Jamie said...

I would like to touch on the comment about petocin leading to epidurals, forcepts, and episiotomy. That to me sounds like an unfactual comment. Unless you have SCIENTIFIC evidence (more than one case study) PROVING the direct connection betweent those things then you're making a very untrue statement. Just becuase there are cases where people who have had these issues after receiving petocin does not in turn directly connect the two. Every case is different. I've been induced with both my children. I had very normal, very healthy births. A lot of times (I don't mean this term as derrogatory) "homebirthers" read all these blogs from people who are so-called "experts" who have become so by reading undocumented studies, bias studies, or opinions that have no evidence.

As it stands I've known many women who have almost died delivering. I also don't understand when God has granted us with such wonderful innovations in medicine and knowldege of the human body why anyone would want to go back to the days of old. I can only imagine women from even a century ago looking at us and wondering WHY we would turn down the opportunity to deliver in a hospital.

There is also something to be said about anti-doctor stance. I don't get it a lot of times. Becuase you've met one bad doctor or even a couple you write them off. I'm sure there is just as many bad midwives, dulas etc. IT's all fine and dandy ot use them, but when it comes down to it, they are simply not trained to save your life or your baby's life when something is wrong. All the things thave to line up in the human body there are SO many things that can go wrong. Why risk it? You can do the non-medicinal route at the hosptial where people who are trained and educated are there to help if things go bad.

Jamie said...

You rock Kourtney. You express my feelings 100%.

Nicole said...

Well stated Kourtney!! I also had a horrible reaction to something after childbirth (which I had to have an emergency C-Section by the way...) where my blood pressure and pulse went through the roof and my throat started to close... they had to call a code blue on me even. Within a matter of seconds it seemed the room was filled with probably 10 different doctors, who luckily were able to save my life... To this day nobody can tell me a reason as to why. But, I did share this extensively with my next doctor, so they could be aware and ready when I delivered my second....

So YES doctors and hospitals are amazing!!!! Thanks for sharing your story and standing up for hospitals... We would probably both not be here today if we had had a homebirth. :)

Suzi Q said...


Chelsea and Greg Sloat said...

I agree-every woman is afforded the opportunity to make personal decisions based on what is best for her and her baby. Such as natural versus induction, medicated versus non medicated and so on. Hospitals even afford many providers to practice in their facilities, if you prefer a midwife, you can use one. Many midwives don't even do homebirths! I have to strongly agree that the way you choose to deliever is personal and many ways can be good and healthy. On the other hand, different then the WAY is the WHERE! Choosing to have a birth in a place where emergency medical attention is simply a no brainier no matter which way you actually choose would be best to deliever. Just because you choose to deliever in a hospital, does not mean you can't have all you want be it lots of meds or meculas! I think Jamie had it right, since difficulty in childbirthing has existed, medical research and advances have worked to eliminate those-why would we go back to the good ol'

Chelsea and Greg Sloat said...

days of not having what we need in times of emergency when the women and families have always hoped to eradicate those problems!?


Maz said...

Sure, childbirth is not a sickness, but does she realise how many women (and babies) over the centuries have died during or shortly after childbirth? Especially before the hospital-birth days. That's right. Dying. Just by giving birth to a child. Think about that one, Ms Anonymous. Hospitals are also for preventing death (as much as possible).

KimiK said...

Two things that Should Not be questioned:
Maternal instinct &
Divine inspiration.
May I also remind those who feel the need to judge others:
"judge not, lest you be judged yourself". You have not nor will you ever be given the right to judge others.

And may I just add (because you messed with my family): GROW A FILTER AND LEARN HOW TO USE IT!

Kim said...

Best post ever. (and you're my favorite Post with Avery at a close 2nd.)

Malinda said...

Hi Kourtney,

I'm Malinda (Fried) DeBry, one of Kyle's friends from high school. We met at our 10 yr. reunion and I thought you were the sweetest, greatest person for Kyle! I've been reading your blog and LOVE it!! You are so brave and candid and I've loved getting a peek into your family. After reading "Annonymous'" comment I about had a fit. I thought, "didn't the idiot just read what happened to you!! This wasn't about having a "normal" birth experience. Was this person really going to read what happened to you and then comment that you should have had your baby at home?! HELLO!! How stupid can you be!!"
I have been induced with 3 out of 4of my babies and each experience was fast and fantastic! I actually enjoyed giving birth!! Yes I CHOSE to be induced. Yes, it was convenient and YES IT WAS A GREAT WAY TO HAVE A BABY! (just in case Annonymous is reading any of the backlashing comments from others...) Anyway, just my thoughts :)
I love your blog and thank you so much for being real and honest. You are a great mother and wife and Avery and Kyle are lucky to have you!
Ps. if you ever need funny stories about Kyle, I've got some fun memories :)