Thursday, October 27, 2011


Avery looks scared.
Probably because there was a spider in our pantry.  

Friends, I am petrified of spiders.  Like seriously bad.  I once thought that maybe I would outgrow this phobia, but I think instead it has gotten worse.

I was reaching for the peanut butter when I noticed the hairy monster hanging from a shelf.  I was frozen in fear and wished that Avery was old enough to kill it for me.

And then I sent Kyle a text:
"There's a spider in the pantry and I'm FREAKING OUT!!!"

His response:  "Kill it."

He just doesn't understand.  If there was a snake in the pantry do you think he would go in there and kill it?  Hell to the no.

So I strapped Avery in the Baby Bjorn and stared at the spider trying to figure out what to do to get it out of the pantry without touching it or knocking it into the depths of my food storage.  I even considered staring at it until Kyle came home so he could kill it.  (You know as soon as you take your eyes off a spider, it disappears only to reappear somewhere even worse.  That's how they get you.)

After a lot of fearful contemplation I devised a plan.  I'd catch it on the end of the duster and throw him outside.  That way I wouldn't have to touch it and maybe it would get tangled up in the duster so it wouldn't fall out.  So I grabbed the duster and stared at the spider.

15 minutes and a few quick prayers went by before I finally got the courage to go for it.  I screamed the whole way out the door and threw the entire duster on the front porch where it would stay until Kyle came home.

But finally we were spider free.


Kellie said...

This is KILLING me!! You are so funny!
I love:
-how you wish Avery was old enough to kill it
-Hell to the no
-the screaming and throwing the WHOLE duster outside!


PS- You need this:

Sims D ("Crystal's Dad") said...

ROTFL - Great advice from Kyle... It's true, we men just don't understand, but we certainly get a kick out of our wife's reactions and love to be their heroes when we can!!

Way to go facing your fear, even if you had to pray, "cuss" ("Hell to the no" [LOL]) and make a lot of noise to do it!!

vickyj said...

Can I just say, you did NOT get this phobia from me! The cussing, maybe; but not the phobia. I am proud that you figured out the extermintion.