Sunday, July 31, 2011

I hope we learned our lesson...

The thing about having a baby is that a good majority of your conversation begins to revolve around diaper changes.  The frequency and severity of poopy diapers become common topics of discussion.  (This is why new parents stay home with babies for a few weeks: we are socially inept).

So when you notice your newborn hasn't pooped in more than 24 hours, it is advisable not to leave the house ever.  But if you do, probably you should not do so without an extra change of clothes, plastic bags, a few hundred wipes, and some container for storing hazardous material because inevitably she will decide to have a blowout in the parking lot of the Home Depot.  And it will get all over everything.

Then, because you are left unprepared for such dire circumstances, you will be forced to change a disasterous diaper in the back seat of the car on a burp cloth while your husband dry heaves in the parking lot.  Then you will carry a mostly naked newborn around the paint department in a poop stained blanket while trying to decide if your fingers will always be poop colored.  You will most definitely feel like the trashiest of white trash around but you will insist on buying the gallon of paint you came for because it took an hour to get out the door in the first place and if you go home now, you will forever admit defeat.

The best part of all: the horror of being so unprepared for a massive poo-splosion is outweighed by the reassurance that your newborn finally pooped and is visibly content and happy.

The End.


Jamie said...

The learning curve is coming quick for you guys!! Avery is going to keep you on your toes!!! Looks like she's doing her job :o)

vickyj said...

And what are you painting now?