Friday, January 28, 2011

From a Fourth-Story Window


Sometimes I like to eat my lunch by the window and peer at the people four stories below.  The other day I noticed a man with knee pads climb into a dumpster.  It was a very large dumpster and it made me physically ill (still does) to think about just what he might be wading through.  But then he emerged with two long strips of carpet.  Hmm... carpet.  Why would he need to retrieve carpet strips from a dumpster? 

Here is what I know of this man:
1. He was probably not homeless
2. He was wearing a uniform
3. Also, knee pads
4. He drove a little cart

I ran through different scenarios leading up to dumpster carpet retrieval and imagined the following conversational scenarios:

"Andre," (he looked like an Andre) "The Chesterfields have changed their minds about the carpet after all.  Go fetch it from the dumpster."

Or rather, "Andre, Mrs. Chesterfield specifically asked for the carpet in the dancing room to be removed, not from the foyer (pronounced "foy-yay")!"

"Andre, I've had it with your stupid knee pads!  I'm throwing you and your carpet out!"  Then Andre sulks to the dumpster alone, to retrieve the remains of his lost relationship, and carpet.

Also I had thoughts about a cat scratch tower.  Carpet is good for those, I think.

What I have learned from this:
1. Knee pads are probably a good idea when dumpster diving
2. Always listen carefully to the Chesterfields
3. Really you wouldn't want to have carpet in the dancing room in the first place

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