Monday, December 20, 2010


I was just sitting here thinking to myself how annoying it is when people sneeze. Especially when they sneeze in many multiples and then spend five minutes blowing their noses.

I was thinking how startling it is when someone sneezes and you're not expecting it and how it sets my nerves on edge, like I'm in danger or something! 

I was thinking about how terribly gross it is to sneeze and how sometimes when people sneeze, you not only hear them sneeze, but you SEE the sneeze! That is the sickest of sneeziest sneezes.  Have you ever Googled for images of sneezes?  Probably you should not, because to see a sneeze suspended in time is a disturbing type of sneeze to be sure. 

I was thinking about how all the experts say your sneeze travels 15 feet (or more?!) and so when I am walking behind someone who has sneezed, I divert my path so as to not walk into their sneeziness. 

And then I thought about how you are supposed to sneeze into your sleeve so you don't spread your sneezies and how many people really do that, do you know?  I most certainly always sneeze into my sleeve because sneezes are sick. 

And then there is the potentially awkward post-sneeze scenario: do you respond to the sneezer with a "Bless you" or "Gesundheit" or what have you?  Or do you ignore them?  And then what of the multiple sneezer? Do you offer your choice blessing after each sneeze or just at the end of what you assume is the cluster of sneezes?  I hate to respond to a sneezer, but I feel like it is bad fortune not to say "Bless you."  And then when I sneeze and no one says anything, I wonder if they even know what just happened here?!? Do they not see me?!? Cannot hear my sneezes?!?  But sneezes are cause for quite a bit of thinking, you know.

And then after all this thinking, I sneezed.  Four times.

Do you believe in karma?


bequi said...

2 things:
Mythbusters proved you CAN sneeze with your eyes open, and it was the grossest thing ever because they filmed all these slow-motion sneezes where they're holding their eyelids open and it looked like their eyes would pop out.
Before Anthony and I were an "item" but we had been on a few dates, he sneezed in a training class at our work. I saw this HUGE gob fly out of his face and land on my desk. I started to gag, he looked around all embarrassed, and then WIPED IT OFF THE TABLE WITH HIS BARE HANDS!! SICK!!! He's lucky I married him after that!

Kellie said...

"Bless you" has always been an issue to me. Who am I to "bless" someone. I feel like if I'm going to say "bless you" than I should say "God bless you" but then I feel weird. But I also feel a little put-out when someone does not say "bless you" to me, so I usually just throw in an awkward "bless you" under my breath.

Crystal said...

Do you ever hear a sneeze and then look around to see who it was? But then you can't figure it out because everyone looks normal? Yeah, I try to be like that. Whenever I sneeze in public I straighten my face and look totally normal afterward so that anyone who did actually SEE me would wonder if it it was me or not. Tricky.

And yes, I always sneeze into my elbow :)

The Lloyds said...

My sneezes just go terribly wrong!

It Started With a Wink said...

In middle school I sneezed and it was a visible sneeze on my friend in front of me during a Health/Sex Ed class, I didn't know what to do, eventually someone else told her and she got a paper towel to wipe it off, I still feel bad