Enough about the toast already!

So maybe we had a few minor "disagreements" today.

We love the Winco and the Winco happens to be on Kyle's way home from work.  So I ask him ever-so-sweetly to pick up some cheese for the funeral potatoes I plan to make for our delicious Easter Sunday dinner with friends. 

A short while later I remembered we also need more jam.  And butter.  Both for my daily toast meals.  And you know how much I love toast.

"Do you want to just make me a list or something?"  Kyle asks.

"Would you be offended if I did?"  The sweet wife replies.

"No."  Says the husband.

So I write him a list:

Butter

Jam

Cheese

"That's it?  I think I can remember three things, I'm not dumb."  Seemingly-offended-husband exclaims.

And then I get the usual I've-just-never-met-anyone-who-eats-as-much-toast-as-you argument followed by the recently added version: you-are-so-passionate-about-your-butter.  I am NOT passionate about butter.  But I do love toast and toast without butter is just dry bread.

Later there was a dispute about the apparent femininity of David Archuleta.  I think he's kinda girly.  Kyle is an Archuletta fan and therefore he cannot be girly.

Oh and lastly, I successfully annoyed Kyle by poking and squeezing his face while he was trying to convince me of how manly David Archuleta is.  I would like to take this opportunity to thank Kyle for teaching me how to be super annoying.  I have truly learned from the best.

But I do love our witty banter.

"That Couple"

I don't often watch The Biggest Loser, but every time I do I seem to be eating ice cream and/or potato chips.  This seems rather ironic to me.  But I know I'm not alone.  I think you do it too.

I've decided that part of the appeal of reality competition-type shows is that I get to judge and criticize to my heart's content.  You see, when watching American Idol, for example, I like to throw out my own expert critique, "Off pitch!"  "Where's the passion?"  "I'm not feelin' it dogg."  And then I feel like a real-life expert when my critiques happen to match up with what the judges say.  I know, I know, I'm no expert and I would never be caught dead singing on national television.  I do, however, enjoy singing in the shower.  I think you do it too.

So Kyle and I thought about going to see a movie tonight, but then we remembered we "have" to be home to watch Parenthood at 9:00.  And then it hit us:  we are becoming "that couple."  You know, that couple who plans their night around their favorite tv shows.  Who eat ice cream while watching The Biggest Loser.  And who make unjustified criticisms of American Idol and Dancing with the Stars contestants.  I refuse to take full responsibility for this decline in our marital social life.  I blame two people:  Comcast for making their DVR's more expensive than we want to pay for, and the sellers of the house we are trying to buy for sucking the very life from our tender souls. 

I would tell you more about it but Parenthood is on.

Blessed are the patient for they shall have a new house?

Buying a house is not for the impatient of heart.  First there's the saving (oh the saving!).  Then there's the looking.  And looking.  And looking.  Then the offering.  The counter-offering.  The paperwork.  More paperwork.  Inspection.  Appraisal.  And convincing the sellers to lower their price.  And then waiting for them to respond.  I hate waiting.  I'm very much impatient.  And all this waiting and patienceness just might make me crazy. 

I think I need some ice cream.

Beautiful Day

Today was a beautiful day for some undercover spying.  We went to church in what will hopefully be our new ward and had a sneaking suspicion we may see the family who owns the house we are trying to buy.  The truth is, there really are a lot of LDS families in Utah and the odds were pretty good they are LDS too.  They made it really easy for us to pick them out because the Mrs. turned out to be the organist.  I felt so sneaky sitting amongst the sellers without them knowing!  We didn't want to run into them and risk experiencing one of my many awkward conversations, so we snuck out the minute church was over.  The few people in the ward we did talk to were friendly and there is definitely a plethora of children for me to oogle at.  I think we will like it!

Today was also a beautiful day for hard-core eating.  Good friends Kevin and Suzi fed us delicious lasagna and brownies for dinner.  We ate too much.  After our return home and obligatory 2 hour Sunday nap, we made our first attempt at homemade ice cream.  Strawberry ice cream.  While delicious, I feel like I have eaten a can of lard.  Perhaps it was the pint of heavy cream and the cup of whole milk that were used to create the ice cream.  We ate too much.  Next time we're going easy on the milk fat.

Do You Wanna Get Rocked?

This is Kyle.  Kyle is my best friend.

Kyle loves to be silly.  He loves sports.  He loves Boise State.  He loves Idaho.  He loves me.

(Kyle and KISS)

But Kyle also loves to rock.

I wish I could properly document for you all of the dozens of conversations we have had that revolve around why Kyle would be a great rockstar.  These conversations usually include reference to his mad air guitar skills, his ability to "work the crowd," and his killer dance moves.  He has a series of band names that he periodically inquires as to which is my favorite.  I think Smooth Diamond is in there somewhere.  Often I even receive a play-by-play of how he would make his on-stage appearance amidst smoke, lights, and screaming fans.

You see, Kyle is a rockstar trapped in an HR Generalist's body.  I've tried encouraging him to pursue his dreams, learn to read music and practice on my pink guitar.  But I think he rather enjoys his mini-performances dancing around our tiny apartment or jamming with Def Leppard whilst enjoying a hot shower.  Afterall he really doesn't have time to go on the road, what with an awesome wife and all. 

Tell me, if he were to spend months on tour promoting his latest album, who would be here to sit on my feet so they stay warm?  And who would reuse all our sandwich bags?  It would be an awful travesty, is what it would be.  I'm so glad  Kyle McAwesome Post has decided to put his rockstar dreams on hold to be a successful stay-at-home air-guitarist/HR Generalist.

Carboholics Anonymous

Hello, my name is Kourtney.  I am a carboholic.

It is 11:00 AM and I have already consumed 4 pieces of whole wheat bread: two in toast form for breakfast and two in PBJ form for lunch. 

It is no wonder that Kyle exclaims on a weekly basis, "We go through so much bread!"  or "We're out of bread again?"  or "You're having toast?  Again?"

Recently I made Rhode's Dinner Rolls (which I love).  I made 6 for good measure because that's how many spaces I had in my muffin tin.  I ate 5 of them.  The same day. 

I'm publicly coming out with my addiction:  I really, really love carbs!  They seek me out, call my name in the night, and hunt me down until I devour all their carbohydrated goodness with reckless ambition. 

Is there hope for me?  Will I ever be able to kick the bread?  Only time will tell.

Also, I love chocolate.  With all my heart.

Old Soul

I am an old soul. 

Ever since I can remember I have loved old things: magazines, dishes, fabric, jewelry, hats...  you name it.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hoarder by any means; I very much enjoy throwing things out, but at the same time I love collecting old things.  I love how unique they sometimes are and I love imagining the story behind them.  Few things get my heart racing like a good vintage find. 

The D.I. recently blessed me with $12 worth of mouth-watering purchases!  One of which was a depression glass citrus reamer for $1.00! I have wanted one for years.  *sigh*  I think I'm in love.

(Moderntone)
Some of my other personal treasures include a small collection of vintage hats and gloves, costume jewelry, old books, handkerchiefs, various forms of milk glass, and my grandmother's pastel Moderntone dishes.

My sister Kelli understands how I feel about old things and I'm pretty sure it's partly her fault that I love them so much.  Afterall, she was the one who introduced me to a vintage citrus reamer in an Iowa antique shop 8 years ago.  She has also contributed to my collection of old things: a few Moderntone plates, a restaurant style napkin holder, and a pair of very lovely sundae dishes.

Kyle on the other hand does not exactly understand how I feel about old things.  I'm pretty sure he isn't a big fan of all my old stuff, but he is a good husband and lets me enjoy them as I please.  I think it's a pretty fair trade after all the Die Hard movies and sports I've had to watch.

Musings of the Wife

(I'm obsessed with taking close-ups of flower middles)
This week has been especially great because I have witnessed TWO instances of Kyle talking in his sleep.

Instance 1: "Safe travels."

Instance 2: "Did you talk to the nurse yet?"

He denies both accounts, but I was definitely awake enough to hear him clearly and giggle myself back to sleep.

After driving Kyle's car to work the last six months, I finally figured out how to work the windshield wipers!  All this time I thought they only had two settings: off and lightspeed.  I feel that I've made a major discovery here and now despise driving the Honda so much less.  But if only I could see through the cracks in the windshield...

I've been thinking lately, why do weatherpeople always report how the weather was today?  I mean really, I only watch the weather to plan for the unpredictable weather future.  I don't need to know that it was mostly cloudy today because I experienced it first hand!  And what is this "Stormtracker 5000" anyway?  Also, I've noticed that there is something strange about those weatherpeople.  Is it just me or do they all seem to have somewhat awkward personalities?  Maybe it is just newspeople in general.  Despite my generally awkward personality, I would not make a good newspeople.

Since our days of DVR magic have passed, gone are the evenings of watching Judge Judy reruns.  Kyle and myself are now in the habit of watching Family Feud after work.  I never thought I could enjoy this silly game show, but just like Judy, everything is so much funnier when you watch it with Kyle!  We have recently convinced ourselves that we would be great contestants on the show and will soon be petitioning all willing (and intelligent) family members to join us on the TV show.  Any takers?

The Sandwich Bag vs. The Wife

 Okay, so I know I am blessed to have a thrifty husband who helps us save for our goals and hopes and dreams, but I have to say I'm putting my foot down on the reusing of sandwich bags. Ew! I recently discovered that Kyle has been using the same plastic sandwich bag for his daily peanut butter sandwiches for over two weeks. We have a drawer full of perfectly good, very cheap sandwich bags that he is welcome to use anytime. When I brought this matter to his attention, I received a 30 minute lecture on how reusing plastic sandwich bags could account for $6 in annual savings. 

My inner germophobe insists that reusing sandwich bags leads to the spread of germs and foodborne illnesses. Kyle disagrees.  He says that jam residue from his sandwiches will not harbor bacteria.  To properly settle this matter, I will pay Kyle $6 annually to just admit that I am right.  He can keep reusing his sandwich bags if he really wants to, but he must cease trying to convert me to his germy ways.

And that, my friends, is called negotiation. 

I could totally be a lawyer.

Pretty Freaking Awesome

Today was especially nice: sunny skies, spring weather, perfect for celebrating new beginnings, don't you think?  It was after lunch on this fine day that I happened upon this...

...and subsequently laughed myself to tears.  I'm sorry anonymous bride for making a mockery of your bridal fashion of choice.  But really, where is the sensible bridesmaid to tell you you look like a cake-topper?  I know that you meant well and perhaps wanted to accentuate the smallness of your waist but I feel it my public duty to inform you that your skirt is much too big.  And tell me, am I the only one who finds this hilarious?

It does however provide us all with a good peek at your tennis shoes. Nice touch!

As if THAT wasn't enough to make your day... I would like to present to you the public unveiling of Twitterman!  Yes, that's right, for the last few months my Kyle has been moonlighting as a radio station promotions assistant/Twitterman.  I'm so proud!  I love that he would willingly wear this costume and hand out t-shirts in public.  It's pretty freaking awesome is what it is!

Twitterman may be Kyle's alter ego, but tonight I was the superhero for I obtained 2 tickets to the Jazz game!  And the seats were pretty good!  Feel free to call me "Sugar Mama."  I think I've earned it.

Mundane Monday

Mondays are nobody's favorite.  But tell me, have you ever heard someone say, "Oh yes I love Mondays!"  No.  Everyone always says, "Hooray it's Friday!" or better yet, "Hooray it's Saturday!"  Monday gets a bad rap.  For the record, I'm no fan of Mondays either. 

Here is our report of Monday's mundane goings on (i.e. yesterday):

Item 1:  Daylight savings.  I do not remember daylight savings ever affecting me so poorly as it has this year.  Three days in and I'm still feeling sleep-deprived.  Monday I slept in until 7:30 AM, which is precisely 8 minutes prior to the time I leave for work.  I arrived to work at 8:05 AM.  I did not look pretty.

Item 2:  Produced a check for the purchase of our new home.  Experienced post-check-producing nausea.

Item 3:  Splurged on 2 double chocolate cookies.  (Nothing counteracts post-check-producing nausea like double chocolate cookies.)

Item 4:  Worked late and returned home to an empty apartment, husband off at his other job.  Wondered quizzically as to why I was watching a whole episode of Ghost Whisperer.  And what was going on with Jennifer Love Hewitt's awful menswear outfit?  And why must she be known by three names?

  

Item 6:  Joined Husband at the Jazz game after he successfully procured free tickets.

Item 7:  Canoodled with Maggie, Kim's darling Shorkie whom I love so very much.  I often refer to her as "the only dog I've ever loved."  Kyle does not appreciate nor understand how I could want to baby her so.

Monday, you weren't so bad this time, but I'm glad you're over.

A Night Well-Done

Since we are now under contract for purchasing our very first home (!) we now have our Saturdays back!  Even though looking at houses is really fun and exciting, it had me so thoroughly worn out.  It's a very emotional process.  So we lounged around most of the morning after visiting with Mom and Dad Hale. 

Then we decided to go shopping. I'm ashamed to say that after just 20 minutes I was so done with shopping and ready to go home.  Kyle was visibly perturbed.  Since when does the husband have to encourage the wife to spend the afternoon shopping?  We walked around the mall for awhile, me dragging my feet.  What is this new phenomenon?  Perhaps it was my choice of shoe: 3 3/4" square toe mid-calf brown leather boots that do not bend at the ankle. I love these boots with all my heart, but I can hardly stand an hour walking in them.  This is probably why they still look brand new after spending eight years in my closet.

We abandoned the mall for our tiny apartment and I took a 2 hour nap.  We celebrated my newfound energy by enjoying sweet pork at Costa Vida followed by an evening of Brian Regan! 

Kyle gave me tickets to Brian Regan's show for Christmas so we had been looking forward to this for a long time.  It was definitely worth the wait!  We laughed so hard my throat hurts and my face is sore.  True signs of a night well-done.

Mission Nearly Impossible

Assignment: Find Kay (whom I've never met) who is possibly standing outside the Neighborhood Market.  But one can never be too sure. 

Known facts include:  Caucasian.  Female.  Mid 40's.  Blondish hair.  Heavy-set.  No cell phone.

Would you believe that for 15 minutes I chased down 6 women outside the Neighborhood Market asking them if they were Kay?  Because I did.  It occurred to me that every woman in Salt Lake must be a heavy-set caucasian female with blondish hair in her mid-40's.  But we do have a thing for blonde here.

There was some particular confusion with one of the strangers I approached because her name was Day.  She thought I said Day, I thought she said her name was Kay... 

I wonder, have you ever met a woman named Day?

I shouted "Kay!" to another woman across the street and we subsequently ran towards each other as I waved frantically in the air.  She thought I shouted "Hey!"  She was not Kay. 

I did manage to find Kay, or rather Kay found me.  She was inside the building I was supposed to help her get into.  After observing me for a few minutes while I harrassed innocent Kay look-alikes while dodging downtown traffic, she poked her head out the door and said, "Are you looking for me?  I found my own way inside."

Well there you go.

Municipal Kourt

Being sick is somewhat of an unusual experience for Kyle.  I don't think he knows quite what to do with himself when he is sick.  I try to help best I can, but my answer to everything is "take a Mucinex!"  Kyle likes to avoid taking medicines whenever possible so really, what more can I do? 

The last few days he has been fighting a cold of sorts and since I'm the one who's always sick, he (albeit jokingly) blames me!  However, I have not been sick, and hope to not catch whatever virus it is that's sleeping next to me every night.  My best efforts to defend myself were futile.  Until this morning.  I received the following message via electronic mail from The Kyle himself:

Hey Kourtney,


I made a mistake and thought it was you that got me sick somehow. I found out today that the girl I work with Ester has been sick the past 4 days. I had meetings with her last Thursday and Friday. So it was her, not you. I apologize for accusing you. I will buy you ice cream to make up for it. Oh I did last night. Now we are even.


Kyle Post

Well how 'bout that!  It was that danged Ester all along.  I rest my case.  However, I would like to sue for emotional damages and insist that restitution be made in the form of additional ice cream runs throughout the next 4 consecutive weeks.  One Reese's Blizzard, afterall, is simply not enough to recover the damages suffered by being falsely accused of viral contamination of a spouse.

 

The kourt is adjourned.

Rescue Mission

Mike The Coworker was talking about how the average woman has 40-75 pairs of shoes.  He said he would bet any of us women that we have at least 40 pairs in our closets.  (I don't know what qualifies Mike The Coworker to be a woman's shoe expert, except maybe his very fashionable wife)  I readily agreed that I surely have more than 40 pairs.  But then I made a list-I love lists!  I wrote down all the shoes I have and to my great disappointment, I only have 20!  I'm under half-stocked!  What kind of woman am I?!?  Even more pathetically, at least 3 of those pairs I don't wear because they are waiting for me to take them to the cobbler and where does one go to find a suitable cobbler these days??

(I think these need to be mine)

Due to this shocking discovery, I feel an emergency shoe-buying excursion is in order.  A closet rescue mission, one might say.  I'm pretty sure my personal femininity depends on it. 

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

George Gobel

Boys Like Girls

Do you remember in elementary school when the boys would pick on the girls because they liked them?  Well, I don't think they ever grow out of that.  While attempting an evening nap, Kyle decided I needed to wrestle.  In the act of defending myself, I smacked his hand into my own face and now have an imprint of Kyle's fingernail placed perfectly on my forehead.  I must learn to better fight back. 

Did you see Sandra Bullock win an Oscar?  You better believe we were cheering her on!  I think we may have even shed some joyful tears in her behalf.  We love Sandra over here.  (Except not in All About Steve which was a horrible waste of time).  Kyle even has a little celebrity crush on that Sandra Bullock.  I don't mind, she's a classy choice (as long as you don't count the All About Steve disaster). 

My celebrity crush of choice?  Steve Carell.  I fell "in love" with Steve Carell in Dan in Real Life and you know what?  Kyle and Steve share a lot of similarities, especially in personality...  he says it's not true, but you can judge for yourself. 

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense."

So there's a lot of hype about this new Alice in Wonderland coming out which I find to be very curiouser and curiouser.  I do want to see it, but I'm also rather cautious, fearing that I'll leave the theater with a dizzying sense of "what the heck?!?" like I did after watching Coraline which I loved for its creativity but still, "what the heck?!?"

But you know I will see it and will again admire Tim Burton's unmatched creativity (and Johnny Depp's strangeness).  I'm by far no movie critic, but I do like a little something different now and then.  And most importantly, my inner fashion designer tells me I'm going to love the costuming.  (Remind me again why I became a secretary?) 

And really ever since I heard about this Alice in Wonderland business my mind has not been able to let go of the heart-stopping Alice-inspired fashion editorial in this 2003 issue of Vogue. 

Alright, I realize that fashion editorials may not make your heart stop like it does mine, but just humor me, ok? 

Rarely do I remember an editorial like I do this one, but seven years later, it's still my favorite!  It's so inspiring, don't you think?  Anyone else agree?  Anyone?

The Duchess: Be what you would seem to be, or if you'd like it put more simply: Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have

Yea Verily On Thursday We Had Tacos

As Kyle so kindly pointed out, I have yet to unpack my luggage from last weekend's trip.  Problem: zero post-work motivation.  I come home from work, we eat dinner, and I sit for the remainder of the night.  And you know what?  I refuse to feel guilty about it. 

But, in fact, I do feel guilty which is why I'm trying to convince myself that it's ok to be lazy for a few evenings.  I'm holding out for the weekend and then I'll get caught up on my piles of laundry, unpacked luggage, and onesies to sew.  Besides, post-work laziness makes for lots of marital cuddling which is a great accompaniment to all the great stuff on tv this week.  Also, Kyle would not have found my camera hiding in the couch coushins had we not been cuddling during Seinfeld reruns tonight.  Bonus!

We did sacrifice watching the last 15 minutes of Pam and Jim having their baby on The Office for Kyle's basketball game.  I love watching Kyle play!  Granted it's only church basketball, but I'd say he is the star player.  But perhaps I'm biased.  The only pictures I have are blurry because Kyle insisted that if I was going to take pictures, it's more polite to not use a flash.  I think he was just embarrassed that his wife is so camera-happy and didn't want anyone to notice my incessent picture taking.  Either way, our team won!  On to the tournament!

Wiggling, Wandering, Wondering.

(photo from K2 Imaging)

I've had a lot of time to wiggle around at my desk and think thoughtful things today.  It's Wednesday, the sun is shining, and I can't sit still to save my life.  So off my mind wanders...

  

(photo from K2 Imaging)

Do you ever consider what might've happened if you had made one decision differently? Even the seemingly small, everyday decisions can alter the course of your life forever! Crazy!

Perhaps this is why I have issues making decisions when too many choices are placed before me.  I mean seriously, the cereal aisle?!?  Heaven help me.  Froot Loops?  Cracklin' Oat Bran?  Marshmallow Mateys? Cheerios??  Oh the choices! 

Ok so I know that selecting a breakfast food may not really have life-altering impact, but I think you get my point.  Maybe? 

Well, enough about that.  

For the sake of nothing important:

Do you know that I found TWO dimes this week!?!  This really must be a good omen.  Nevermind the fact that the first one accidently ended up in the garbage... (Read about how to find loose change, it just might change your life)

Why is it that I have been hiccuping sporadically since 7:17 AM this morning?  And why oh why oh why do my hiccups sounds so very much like a winged dinosaur?!?  And then again, how could I suppose to know what a dinosaur sounds like?

I have never used Flickr, Twitter, or Hulu and frankly don't really care to.  How much more uncool does this make me? 

Oh!  During my weekend in Colorado I got my new Big Buddha bag!  It was especially helpful for carting around my three issues of Marie Claire, gifted water bottle, and Cashflow Quadrant (which I just finished reading!) during my unexpectedly long stay at the Denver International Airport. (Read here for the whole story, just in case you missed it.)

Also, I feel rather inspired to include lots of links in this post.  And what do you think about that, I wonder?