A Serious Problem

I have discovered a serious problem with my blogging.  You see, I put all my best stories and interesting Kyle and Kourtney goings on out there for the world to read and then I have nothing to talk about when I see you in person! 

I am 3/4 thrilled and 1/4 disappointed when I go to tell you what just happened and you tell me "oh yes I know all about that, I read your blog!"  Because then, you see, it is at that point that I don't know what to talk about.  And that, my friends, is when I start to embarrass myself by saying ridiculous things just to fill empty space. 

Now tell me, what is a girl to do?  You must know that I am really truly delighted when I hear you read out little blog.  Delighted and also a little hesitant to continue our friendship/familial relations because there is always a chance that I will mistakenly blog about something personally embarrassing to me... or you, that will make things awkward between us.  Do know that I never intend to publically humiliate you and will purposefully not post embarrassing pictures of you.  (except for maybe this one. sorry abby)

As for me... I humiliate myself on a daily basis so its really become quite the norm these days.  Maybe you've heard about how I walked around the office halls with the skirt of my dress caught around my name badge?  I would like to make a post about that fateful day but I don't have any pictures to illustrate.  And really, I'm all about the pictures.

Don't you love pictures too?  I like to keep a lot of pictures on here because if you are anything like me, you will glance at a post full of too much text and skim around to find the pictures.  Then maybe later when you're bored you'll go back through and read every word.  But basically this post is already too full of text for my taste so I will not be offended if you just look at the pictures.

On a somewhat unrelated note...

Sometimes, when the Kyle and I are out with friends, I feel like we are the hottest comedy duo! No seriously, we can't even help ourselves. You probably don't even think we're funny, but you know what? You don't have to. We keep ourselves laughing long after you've gone to bed wondering "where the heck did we find friends like that?" And then the next day, like a bad hangover, I review in my mind all the things I said and/or did in your presence and silently roll my eyes and pray you will still talk to me despite whatever I said and/or did.

So, if you're still reading, despite my breaking of my own too-much-text-rule, thanks for sticking with us and not totally giving up even when I spill an entire glass of water on myself at the restaurant.  Or tuck my skirt into my nylons...  We really do have the very best friends and family we could ever ask for.

New BabyLoo!

A little geek chic for yo baby?

Find it here!  And thanks to Kim for the awesome photos!  You can see her more amazing stuff here!  Anyone have a baby model to lend me?  I think this onesie would look much cuter on a body.

It's Better When You Win It!

I was very tired and cranky last night waiting for some music to download onto my itunes when I came across a very lovely vintage hobnail lamp on ebay.  So I bid the minimum bid of $8.00 and went to bed.

This morning, I won.

Since when do I ever win an ebay bid?  Never, I tell you!  I really didn't do it on purpose.  I never actually thought that the lamp would ever be mine.  But, well, it is.  And will be coming from Pittsburgh to join us in our tiny apartment in 5-10 business days.

But isn't she lovely?

When my inbox broke the news I was shocked and afraid and then... delighted!

I debated telling Kyle about the lamp.  What if it just showed up at the door one day?  Belated wedding gift from a stranger, perhaps?  But how could I pay for it without him knowing? 

Oh the complexities of joint banking!

So I sent the Kyle an email:

From: Kourtney 11:44 AM

So…. I kinda bought a lamp on ebay.

 

From: Kyle 12:06 PM

Cool! What kind of lamp is it?

(bless that man and his cheerfulness!)

From: Kourtney 12:15 PM

Its white milk glass… similar to all that stuff I’ve been buying : )  Its 12 ½” tall and 6” wide. [picture attached]

 

 

(internet silence)

 

 

From: Kourtney  1:51 PM

you don't really like the lamp do you?

 

From: Kyle  1:56 PM

It’s okay. It didn’t “wow” me, but its good. I like it. But really how many lamps really “wow” you? If you were a lamp, you would wow me. I would want to make out with the lamp if it was you.


Really though, how could I not be flattered?  And to think, the lamp shall arrive just in time for Valentine's day!  It will be our little lamp of love.

Compound Cuteness

You know what I did today?  I had chocolate for dinner.  I feel devilishly rebellious and not the least bit guilty!  Ok, well maybe a little guilty.  My inner mother shouts "where are the vegetables?!?"  "where is the protein?!?"  "this is totally unacceptable!"  And yet, my deliciously sweet hot cocoa and dark-chocolate-and-caramel-covered pretzel were absolutely worth it.  (Thank you Anna!)

I feel like I should fix a salad or a chicken sandwich because somehow eating more of something officially dinner-like is supposed to balance out all the chocolateyness?  I'm not even hungry though.

I mean, I hit at least three main food groups: dairy, grains, and fats.  That has to count for something right?

At any rate, I was a typing fool at work today and I have discovered convincing evidence that typing burns at least 99 calories per hour, therefore canceling out all consumed calories in at least one-half of my Hatch's hot chocolate.

Also, I went visiting teaching tonight and I almost never do so that deserves a special treat, don't you think?  Especially because during said visit I got to meet and fall in love with Ashley's maltese puppies of which I am already coveting.  What could possibly make your day sweeter than a delicious chocolate dinner with a really fantastic friend followed by a little puppy canoodling??  I tell you what, there isn't a whole lot that can top that kind of compounded cuteness. 

Crystal, Cheesecake, and the Champion

I'm in an accesories phase.

Accessorizing our shelves and walls.  And myself, of course.

That said, you can imagine my excitement at finding an array of crystal candlestick holders for fifty cents a piece at the local D.I.  Also, the milk glass pot in the background.  What do you suppose it says about a woman when the excitement of a weekend revolves around cheap trinkets found at a thrift store?

I also purchased some hideous gilded frames that will soon have a brighter future.  Stay tuned for their more attractive debut at a later date...

In other news, the weekend included the Kyle and Kourtney premier of the movie 2012.  Verdict: Kourtney loved it. Kyle got antsy after hitting the 2 hour mark but liked it, despite the occasional "cheesiness."

Speaking of cheese...  Kyle's first experience dining at The Cheesecake Factory ended triumphantly.  Good food, good company, and drool-worthy dessert.  We will be going back.

Also, Kyle and Kourtney broke out the new Scattergories game.  Kourtney very much enjoyed the taste of victory.

Lost in Translation

Kyle: What are we having for dinner?

Kourtney: Oh its this new recipe I got!  Its hamburger patties and a gravy-like sauce over mashed potatoes.

Kyle: So what do you do with the hamburger?

Kourtney: I make the hamburger into patties, make the sauce with the hamburger, and then we put it all over mashed potatoes.

Kyle: Ok so we're just having mashed potatoes and gravy?

Kourtney: No, with hamburger patties.

Kyle: So... what do you do with the hamburger?

Kourtney: I make the hamburger into patties.  I make the sauce with the hamburger.  Then, we put it all over the mashed potatoes and eat it.

Kyle: (puzzled look)

Kourtney: The hamburger turns into patties.  I make the sauce in the same pan as the hamburger patties.  And then I make mashed potatoes. The hamburger and sauce go over the mashed potatoes.

(brief silence)

Kyle: Oh!  So you're making the hamburger into patties?

I later learned that the reason behind Kyle's puzzlement was that he thought I was making gravy like his mom does, by breaking up the hamburger in the sauce, and he thought we were just having mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner.  Which is basically how it turned out in the end.

Yum!

Also, this conversation still makes me laugh.

Bifurcated Matrimony

Kyle: Who do you think wears the pants in our relationship?

Kourtney:  I think we each have one leg in.  Its pretty even, don't you think?

Kyle: Well....its pretty even.  I'd say more like... 60/40

Kourtney: Oh really? And who's the 60??

Kyle: Haha well, (gesturing to himself) I am the man of the house!

Kourtney:  Heh heh.  Just keep on thinking that.

A Little Self-Liberation Never Hurt Anyone, Right?

 

I have something to say today that is kind of personal.  Maybe even some of you can relate.  In hopes to make a change for myself, I share with you my biggest personal downfall: making comparisons.  Do you do that too?  I know there must be someone else out there who is also guilty of this downward-spiral thinking of "I'm not good enough" "if only I could be more like..." and "I wish I had..."

I'm sure it must be one of those natural female defects.  Or, maybe it's just me.  I'm very well aware that my negative comparisons aren't held in high regard with the Kyle.  He loves me just the way I am and doesn't compare me to others at all.  (And isn't that why I married him?)  So why must I do it?  Why must life turn around to be some sort of secret competition between myself and a host of friends, strangers, and celebrities who have or do or look like something that I am not? 

Are some of us simply programmed to compare ourselves to others?  Brainwashed by high-fashion magazines and daytime television?  Led to insanity by an inner need for perfection?

The fact is, there will always be someone who is more spiritual, talented, or creative than me.  There will always be someone who is better at cooking or decorating or sewing than me.  And there most certainly will always be someone out there who has a better nose, is in better shape, has skinnier jeans, or daintier feet than I do. 

God didn't make us all the same on purpose, even I know that.  Sometimes I just forget.  And then I turn myself upside down trying to be someone else's perfect. 

So here's to feeding my self-worth and starving my insecurities!  No more faulty comparisons!  No more wishing for legs a' la Megan Fox!  No more coveting the Anthropologie items in your closet!  No more giving in to self-destructing thoughts!

The truth is, I'm a five-foot five and one-half inch size 8 female with artificially blonde hair who sometimes exercises and tries most days to eat healthy.  I'm a pretty good seamstress when I want to be and I once taught myself how to play the guitar.  I have a weakness for chocolate, handbags, and trashy reality tv shows.  I pray every day and don't read scriptures often enough.  I'm certainly not perfect, and I'm done with trying to be. 

So there you have it.

I'm Not Big On Social Graces

 

I used to work in a wholesale accessories showroom in Denver.  Maybe you've heard me talk about it?  It was definitely one of my most favorite jobs ever.  So over the weekend I had the chance to return to the Denver Merchandise Mart for the WESA market (Western & English Sales Association).  It's an international show and buyers from around the world come to place orders for boots, cowboy hats, tack, and clever women's accessories, of course!  Its one of the few times I get to spend days and days listening to country music and practicing my faulty southern drawl. 

And now somethin' inside me is itchin' for a pair of Old Gringo cowboy boots...

 

To get to Denver and back I flew on a United buddy pass.  This was very stressful for me not knowing when exactly (and if) I'd get on a plane, especially because on both flights my luggage arrived hours before I did.  I passed the time reading fashion magazines, and snapping random pictures of the airports.  Somehow I managed to resist the TCBY, which was boldly calling to me for hours on end...

 

This is Deb.  Deb is the president of Artwearables, the aforementioned accesssories showroom, and she's been like family to me over the years.  She's bold and spunky and knows what's what when it comes to the hottest accessories.

Deb married Kelly a few years ago and they still act like crazy newlyweds!  I love that they're so happy together.

And THIS, my friends, is Denver, the city that I love so much. I used to drive down to Denver when I was having a bad day and just walk the streets alone, staring up at the skyscrapers.  There's something about being in a big city that makes me feel like I can do anything; there's so much to be discovered!  I love the bustling energy from the lights, the traffic, the shopping, the people.... *sigh*  I do love it so.

I'll tell you what though, as much as I love that Denver, there ain't nothin' better than coming home to this handsome husband of mine after being away for 5 days!  And he even cleaned the house while I was gone! Woohoo!

Hobby ADD

I have hobby ADD.  I love to try new things and I'll be really excited about one thing for a few weeks or months and then I'll move on to something else.  Sometimes I come back to the things I loved before, but some things are better left a once-tried experiment.  I guess maybe it's all supposed to make me a more well-rounded person?  Or I just have a short attention span.  Here are just a few of my once-loved adventures:

Rugby

Yes, I once played rugby.  If I want to sound really cool, I will just leave it at that and let your imagination fill in the blanks.  But the truth is, I played for maybe 2 weeks in high school.  In practices.  And I never made it to a match.  Coincidentally, I gave it up the same week that someone lost an eye and another girl broke her arm...  but I did get to wear a cool mouth guard and soccer socks.  To this day I have no idea how to play the game.

Horseback Riding

Most of my childhood revolved around horses.  One might even say I was obsessed.  I don't remember how long I actually rode for, but I loved it and I sometimes wish I was still riding.

Durian

This was a really short-lived adventure and I'll tell you why: durian is the most foul fruit known to man.  I kid you not.  I'm pretty brave when it comes to culinary challenges, but even I could not choke down one bite of the candy.  I first thought "maybe it doesn't taste as bad as it smells."  Wrong.  It tastes even worse than it smells, which is rather hard to believe when you've smelled it.  I dare you to try it.

Crochet

I love to knit but I can't crochet to save my life.  After attempting to help my mom crochet leper bandages for a humanitarian project, I quickly learned that I suck at it.  Basically I can only crochet triangles.  Not so good for lepers.

Trombone

I started playing the trombone when I was 11.  When it came time to choose my instrument of choice in sixth grade band, the trombone just came easily to me.  And I stuck with it for another 6 years.  Sometimes I tell people I played for 9 years, but that's a lie.  You should know I almost always exaggerate my numbers.  More on that later...

Clarinet

A few years later I decided that the saxophone was much cooler than the trombone, but my band director wouldn't let me play the sax until I learned the clarinet first.  So for one summer I was multi-talented and learned the clarinet and sax and kept up trombone and piano playing.  The clarinet was just not for me.  Neither was the sax.  Feel free to call me a band geek anytime.  I've earned it.

Yoga

I've done yoga off and on for 7+ years (true number!) and still absolutely love it!  I just don't make the time to do it anymore.  Don't give up on me yet though, I still have dreams of one day mastering Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (one-legged king pigeon pose)...  one day...

Cupid and the Devil

I'm sorry, but I'm going to brag.  Just a little.  I was having a bad day last week and this husband of mine brought me flowers :)

I also enjoyed using one of my milkglass vases for what it was intended for... instead of rigging it to hold candles like the other two.  And since when have I started to like red so much?  I've unintentionally started to decorate in masses of red.  What's up with that?

About.com tells me that "Red is hot. It's a strong color that conjures up a range of seemingly conflicting emotions from passionate love to violence and warfare. Red is Cupid and the Devil."

Hm... well, there you go.

Rocky Mountain High

  

One of our favorite pastimes these days is driving around for hours and hours looking at houses and neighborhoods, imagining where we would like to live once we manage to bust out of our tiny apartment and into homeownership.  So here we were, Mr. and Mrs., armed with slippers, Skinny Cows, and our trusty GPS, off again in search of the perfect place to plant ourselves.  But isn't this $8000 tax credit such a mighty motivator?

On one of our most recent journeys, we discovered that Utah is quite a bit more beautiful than I have noticed.  Impressive peaks, no?  And who even knew that Draper wound all the way behind those mountains??  We were totally surprised, and it was rather nice.  The only downside being the cloud of polluted haze gathering in the valley of this picturesque scene.  Oh the dreaded inversion.  Its such a curse word over here.  Utah has a lot of potential, but the inversion kinda ruins it for me...

At Estes Park, in the tops of the Colorado mountains.

And then I remember how much I miss Colorado, where the mountains seem bigger, the air clearer, and the thunderstorms so much more memorable.  Utah is nice, you know, and I'm happy to be living here for now.  Just wouldn't it be so much more exciting if we were house-hunting on the other side of the Rocky Mountains??

*sigh*

The Sickness

Well, I've been sick.  Again.  And you know something?  I don't feel very clever when I'm sick and all of my goings on these past few days are related to The Sickness and spending the night on the bathroom floor and how very curious my bathroom floor becomes when I've spent all night staring at it. 

But I could tell you how Kyle stayed home from work to take care of me and bring me gatorades and ice cubes and he even let me have the whole bed to myself one night... probably because he was afraid of sleeping next to The Sickness. 

Or how I watched the 10 most interesting minutes of The Bachelor, all because I was home with The Sickness. 

Maybe you would be interested to know that I had Britney Spears' 123 stuck in my head during a whole night of The Sickness and really that makes for extra unpleasant feelings for the Spears. 

Or perhaps you wanted to hear how very excited I was to finally wash my hair after dealing with days of The Sickness. 

And anyway, I'm really pretty sure you'd rather not hear about The Sickness at all.  And for those of you who I know are wondering, I assure you The Sickness I refer to is most definitely not The Other Sickness that comes in the mornings and is mysteriously related to babies.  So sorry to disappoint.